Confessions of a Bitter Mary Sue

I'm a Bitter Sue

(no subject)
My car broke.

I may cry.

Or smack something.

Insert some emo poetry about how the automobile industry hates me.

The end.

You know.. I don't mind vacations.. but christ..
I was working the other day when that damn elf_princeelf storms over and kidnaps me.

He claimed I haven't been acting myself.

I swear, he's so damn frustrating. So the pointy eared bastard proceeds to take me back to Middle Earth for the weekend. To remind me of "better times".

Better times???

No plumbing.

Helms Deep.

Killing.. her.

What better times is he talking about??

I just don't get that stupid elf. I really don't.

But.. it was pretty sweet for him to try and help me...

No. NO. I will not think fluffy thoughts. Absolutely not. NO.


Sometimes I really hate myself.

Xander ( proves what an ass he is.
Smooth, you bastard.

You know, Buffy's too upset to be pissed off, so I'm going to be pissed off for her.

Xander, are the maggot infested afterbirth of a gutter fucked whore.

You'd better watch your back.

Welcome to my hell.
I had a nightmare last night.

She was there. Taunting me.

He was there, saying I failed.

They were all there telling me I was useless.


Then the darkness was filled with blood.. and I was drowning.

Always drowning.

I screamed and everything shattered into pieces..

And I woke up, and I was standing on the fire escape outside my living room window.

At my feet was that damn dagger.

She won't stay dead...

Bored bored.
So I finally got the Suvian thing to work for me.

I got a job at this lunatic_cafeLunatic Cafe place. Some kind of interdimensional thing run by buffy_summersBuffy.

I'm an assistant manager, and pretty much do what Buffy does, except I don't own the place.

It's okay. Except for the fact that HE'S there.

And then I have to watch Buffy and Xander overdoseing on the flirting.

It's enough to make one sick.

Oh and of course, Neo is insane, he tried to rape a cabbit for fucks sake. Perverted bastard.

The entire place makes my head hurt.

And yet it still beats cooking pizza.

Battle's over.

We 'won'.

At a really fucked up cost. I'm sitting on some steps right now and god forbid, I've been counting.

Too many. A lot of them younger then me.

Many mothers are going to be mourning..

This is such a pain doing this one handed. My shoulder still hurts like fucking hell. Feh. Stupid mutant smurfs.


I really don't have a lot to say now.. shocking isn't it.

Yeah.. I think I'll see what everyone is up to.. distractions are good.

Dragonscale armor. Can you believe that shit?

At least it's my color.

God, I can't believe I'm actually willingly participating in this damned battle. I mean come on, EVERY Mary Sue is always present and involved. I'm setting myself up for more Suvian trends. I'm such an idiot!

Any bets that I'll become the Tragic Mary Sue and die?

Well.. hopefully I'll last long enough to see Legolas do that shield surfing..

So okay, time loops?
Not a fun thing.

I keep blacking out, jumping ahead.. it's fucking creepy.

Then we've got Legolas trying to be nice..

What the hell is going on?

Did I mention my imminent breakdown that's about to happen?

The voice keeps insisting I off myself, I'm pretty much sick of not interacting, I want to talk, but who the hell is there to talk to?


Getting uber pissed and uber depressed all at once.

Someone get me the white coat and the nice doctors with the many pills.

The fun never ends.
Eomer is such a fuckwit.

Attitude problem much?

That is all.

Hello world.
It doesn't matter how I have access to this, now does it?
All you need to know is that I found a way via my Bag of Holding.

My name is Lacey and I'm a Mary Sue.

A very bitter, annoyed, and infatuated Mary-Sue with no perfection in my arsenal at all.

What a bitch, no?

At the moment I'm trapped in Middle-Earth and I just fucked up on trying to save my only friend in the Fellowship, Boromir.

I've managed to get 2 Perfect Mary Sues killed. One by Legolas and the other.. I killed...

As if my fucked life weren't enough, I get to add that to it.

The gods are enjoying this cosmic prank, and me?

Not so much.

Ugh.. and here we go, gotta move again. We're trying to track down Merry and Pippin.

Sure I could point out where to go, but other then Boromir, I've tried as hard as I could not to ruin the movie.

Yeah, I seem to be in an off shoot version of the movies.



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